这是一篇海洋馆的广告。一头鲨鱼写的。
将人类以外的生物拟人化的广告其实很常见，比如WWF组织的公益广告。
泪眼晶莹的老虎，拿起手枪指着你的浣熊，武装起来报复人类的企鹅军队，无一不触目惊心。
每次看到这样的广告，总会迸发出神经质的荒谬阴谋感。
因为人类只是一个品种，而人类以外的生物有千千万万个品种。
飞天遁地，上山下海，如果他们联合起来，人类的毁灭也只是秒的速度。
所以，扯远了，爱护动物是必要的事情，但这里还是看看这篇鲨鱼写的散文。
看上去这个水族馆里的朋友都很傲娇。
因为鲨鱼叔像在说：你看我们的同时我也在看你，你们这些愚蠢的人类。
It was wet outside,so that was a good start to the day.
外面也是潮湿的，所以这算是一个好的开始
on the other hand,it’s always wet outside.it’d be a tough world for a fish if it was dry outside,come to think of it.
I decided to go and take a look at the new place,called underwater world.
(though,again,why they call it that i’ve no idea,since as far as i can see,the entire world’s under water anyway.still what do i know?i only work here)
The great thing is ,that, if you’re a fish,entry’s free!
Apparently,the non-fishy exhibits shell out $9 to be gawped at,which just goes to show that a human being has all the intelligence of a giant sea-cucumbe and take it from me,they’re thick
In fact,in the contest for the most remarkably stupid sea-creature,your giant sea-cucumber would romp home by a short head,(which is exactly what he’s short of )from the common jelly-fish,if only either of them could work out the entry-forms.
Where was i?
Right.yes,at underwater world,well,you know what we sharks are like,if there’s something happening,we’re there,it’s like a fifth sense.always first to the action,that’s us.
Anyway,me and my pals turned up in the morning,and spent the whole day being jostled by other fish.
The entire marine population,so it seemed,had decided that an hour or two laughing their fins off at a bunch of dumb two-legged mammals gliding through a transparent tube was just what they all needed.good for stress,i expect.
The plaice was packed!eels,rays,big guys,small ones,the little fat chaps in weird suites.starfish.jellyfish,even!all peering at the humans on display
Actually,to be honest, i dont’t find humans very interesting.
For a start,they all look the same to me.very boring lot.no fun.
They don’t even seem to eat each other very often.
They just drift past.mouths gaping like a school of terminally dim gold-fish,pointing at us with their fins.
After a couple of hours,i was fed-up to the gills with it,for some reason,it’s forbidden to eat the exhibits,and since nobody can jostle a shark and get away with it,i ate a couple of the visitors and went home.the end.
“周末记事”
作者：鲨鱼
外面也是有水的，所以这算是一个好的开始。
其实，外面一直是有水的，对于一个鱼类来说，如果外面的干的，那将是一件非常糟糕的事情，想想便知道。
我决定去看看这个新的地方，这个叫做海底世界的地方。
(虽然，我实在不知道为什么那里要叫一个这样的名字，依我所见，整个水底世界，还是我所熟知的吗？好吧，我只是在那里工作而已)
但最棒的是，如果你是鱼类，你去就可以免费入场。
显然，没有鱼的展览都得花上9美金才能傻傻地看上一次，这表明，一个人类的智商相当于一颗海参。
对于我来说，他们实在太呆了。
其实，在最愚蠢的海洋生物竞赛里，你们这些大海参会因为头太小而从一堆普通水母中获胜，但前提条件是你能搞定你的参赛资格。
话说到哪儿了？
哦是的，我在水底世界，好吧，你知道我们鲨鱼是怎样的，如果有什么事情发生，而我们能第一时间赶到，就像有第五感，然后第一个出击。这就是鲨鱼。
无论如何，我和我的伙伴会在从一早开始，花上一天的时间，和其他鱼类挤来挤去。
整个海洋世界的入口，我们可以花上一两个小时在透明管上滑翔，看看那些没有鱼鳍的愚蠢的两腿哺乳动物从管道里通过，我想这大概会对舒缓压力有效吧。
鱼类们都坐无虚席，鳗鱼，电鱼，大鱼，小鱼，还有那个躲在怪异龟裂套房里的小胖子，海星，水母，甚至更多的什么！都在直勾勾的看着展出的人类。
老实说，从一开始，我发现人类一点都不有趣，在我看来他们的样子都一样，boring，no fun.
他们看起来都不互相撕咬，他们只是一个跟着一个，张开嘴巴像关在水族箱里的金鱼，用他们的”鳍”对我们指指点点。
大概一两个小时之后，我受够了，出于某种原因，这里禁止吃展览品，而且也没有人能够靠近鲨鱼还可以全身而退的，于是我吃了两个想靠近我的人，就回家去了。
就这样。